Megxit: My Thoughts on Megan Markle, Duchess of Sussex

By Kari - January 17, 2020


It's Friday night and I'm sitting here in my pajamas watching "The Crown" on Netflix. While I know the show takes some liberties, I still find the history of Queen Elizabeth and the rest of the royal family so fascinating. I remember well the night I found out Princess Diana died and I remember watching her nationally televised funeral. I even remember her two boys following after her casket and wondering how in the world they could do it and keep it together. Though, I'm sure the torrent of emotions still raged inside of them.

Now, I still have a love for the royal family even into adulthood. I stayed up all night to catch a glimpse of the weddings of William and Kate as well as Harry and Meghan. I even have a replica of Princess Diana's wedding ring (now Kate's) that I wish I had more occasions in which to wear. In all of that, I find myself connecting more with Kate than Meghan (and that's okay, by the way). I haven't waged war on the Duchess of Sussex. However, I've always loved the poise and fashion of the Duchess of Cambridge. She embodies the tradition of the royal family and I love how she can hold it together...even to step out a few hours after giving birth looking flawless. Some would call that terrible...I call it brave; all for the sake of tradition!

In contrast, Meghan has brought a very American air to the royal family. She has most certainly done things her own way. While I think she is beautiful and fashionable, I think I'm given more to tradition than to something more modern. I think she's tried to pave a new way of approaching royal life...whether that was intentional or not, I don't know.

I'm also nowhere close to being a feminist (and this is coming from a woman who holds ministerial credentials). I believe in recent years we've demanded equality only to create our own table and not invite men to it. So, in those ways, I don't really connect with the Duchess of Sussex being as that she is very much a feminist. But...different strokes for different folks!

Now with "Megxit" in full swing, I'm seeing, even more, the societal changes being displayed in a public arena. What do I mean? I mean there is this mentality now to "look out for number one." We've started to lose a sense of loyalty and responsibility to do what makes us happy. There's just one problem with that--it doesn't take anyone else into account past the four walls of our own homes. We say we have "tribes", but we keep them at arm's length and despise unsolicited advice (even from our most loving and well-meaning family members). We place more importance on what a blogger has to say about child-rearing than what our own mothers and grandmothers have tried to share with us about their own experiences.

So, in that way, the Duchess of Sussex has certainly looked out for her and her child. We would call that brave. But what about Harry's family? What about her family? Who else is benefiting and who else is hurting? Sure, if you're in the millennial circle, you might not see anything wrong with any of that. But, I'm mourning it. I'm mourning the loss of the older women in the family surrounding the younger and teaching them. They didn't have the benefits of Google to tell them how to raise their kids...they relied on their family for that. Now, in an even greater way, I want to be more intentionally traditional as we grow our own family. I want to be surrounded by women who have done it before (and even by those who haven't that love me too). I won't feel threatened by their knowledge, but I will embrace it. I'll enjoy the fact that I have it to begin with and revel in the memories I'm making; not with an article I've read on the internet...with the people who love me and my husband.

So, do I blame Meghan for leaving the royal family? No...I don't. It seems like a pretty easy way to get on with the life you want. As for me, though...I won't be running from the hard family stuff. It's sometimes a beautiful disaster. I'll take it with all the highs and lows and hopefully look back on all of it with fond memories (and probably plenty of laughs). My husband's family will most definitely be just as invited and welcomed to the party with front seats for everyone. Will I shake my head sometimes at their suggestions? That's very likely. Will I disagree with the things they have to share? Oh, I'm sure of that. But I'm also sure that's been done for generations, too. At the end of the day, though, I want to look back and see their fingerprints on my life and the lives of our children. I'll have the Duchess of Sussex to thank for that intention. While I haven't married into a royal family, I have married into a pretty spectacular one. And sometimes in life, the very best things are the very hardest. I'm not going to run from that...I'm going to lean into it.

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